Polaroid Visions.

brooklyn views, from a bicycle.





Cash.

The King.

hearts, stagnation, beauty & photographs

myspace cannot possibly be a healthy affair. our misguided ideas of
friendship, which really amount to some non-existent degree of
popularity that we've created in this e-world. on principal i'm
entirely against this whole thing. and i'm a god damn hypocrite. i
know. someone recently equated myspace to being something like
the end of a year in high school when everyone goes around
soliciting people to sign their yearbook. "sign my yearbook... sign
my yearbook." and we all know, of course, that your value as a
human being is based upon 1. how many people sign your yearbook
and 2. how endeared to you they are, judging on how many
gratuitously complimentary things they write ("oh my god, B.F.F"
" you are the hottest girl i've ever known!" "the cheerleading team
would have been nothing without you this year. you are soooooo
amazing." etc). now, as young adults, we realize the perversion of
this immature insecurity, but shit, we've just re-created it, in a more
colorful, technologically advanced way.

but it is fun... isn't it?

the burning desire, necessity, of proving something is the beauty of
myspace. the collegegirls can prove how hot and sexually desirable
they can look in their push up bras and over exposed shots taken in
bathroom mirrors (hey, i've done it too.. i know), the bands can feel
validated as real bands once they have more "fans" on their profile
than they've ever had show up at a show, the budding writers can
post their deepest works for the world to see and comment on, the
high school kids can just continue the year book signings, etc, etc.

and i'm as guilty as all of the above, cause i'm here too. i'm
participating. but i still am against it in principle.... so....i would like
to come clean and let you all know that while i've accumulated some
ridiculous number of friends on myspace, in real life, i'm mostly
anti-social, sometimes reclusive, and have only a few close friends,
whom are the very finest of hearts and souls. i feel like myspace is
cheating in representing it's inhabitants, its internet trollers, its
patriots. because on myspace we present the very best versions of
ourselves. the version where we can highlight all of our
accomplishments and virtues and supreme taste in books/music/film,
but we never display the mountains of ignorance in other areas, or our
bad habits, or nasty personality quirks. we present the version of
ourselves who's photographs do not show the flaws of nature,
disproportionate facial features, or that extra ten pounds. if myspace
is anything, it's an attempt to exhibit the version of ourself we would
really like to be. so, in an effort to escape this cycle of the trickery we
allow beauty and to try and exhibit the version of myself i'd like to
be...... these are photos from my day. i am not in any of them. but
they should show you more of me than any glossed, dolled up photo
of my mug ever will. it is beyond skin and body.

converting the heart's intrinsic knowledge to that of human form (words,
photographs, songs, all in between) comes easier to some, than to most. and
while i'd like to think my little body was built for making songs, some days i
can't even bring myself to try. some days i can see nothing but beauty in clouds
and strangers busily scurrying by me in the street. and this is so overwhelming i
know of no sound that could touch it. some days the love in my belly is so
overwhelming i just have to lay in bed, indulging in this beauty that holds no
form to vision. some days i get caught in a sound, incapable of understanding
anything outside of the sound.

there is beauty, and the proper way to execute it for every day, for every mood,
every love, every hurt. they come, for me, as sound, sight, and words. in that order.
the sound being the most frequent.

so today i laid upon my couch most of the day. i felt bad about this, i tried to
parent myself: "self, you have work to do, get your ass off the couch. you have
phone calls to make and errands to run, and songs to work on. get to work."
but my body wouldn't move, my soft little heart just laughed, and kept me laying
there, to fully discover the place that today had brought to me. it was an
important day in self renovations, and i understand that now, as i am again,
laying on my couch. small dog radiating and curled below my knee, and a swollen
heart deep in my chest that is happy. happy to be here. comfortable with this
feeling of pure floatation and no prospect of gravity to bring me back down
anytime soon.

today there was no music. instead i took pictures of things as I lay paralyzed in
the beauty that is beyond our merely aesthetic forms, the beauty that is represented
in 3d, by the culmination of the entire heart of some collective universe, and here they
are for you.

we are all lovers

it has been confirmed, that our bodies
hold no form to gravity
to push or pull by hands
that are not for holding

we stretch our skin, bending sharp
to man's cathedral skied vision
turn your head any way, but away

every heart swelled up to exceed the eyes
which were such deceptive sensory ties
and our memories of ourselves escape
our futile attempts seeking salvation
behind those pearly gates

new york city is made of lovers
the homo boys, the singing lesbians,
the husbands and wives in the grocery lines
everybody to each other
every lover
every one
we are all the most devout of lovers
when these streets will hold us up
we are all the god creators
in these endless, many, hands to hold

yesterday my body melted
in this new york city skin
and i became every woman and man
that had ever known of love
by name & by shapes of experience
I learned to live free, by sight, without eyes, that only can see
the beauty boiling just beneath
our ever so polished, numbered days

and we charged our hurricane hearts
as criminals
but kept marching forward
momentum as our lord
we were simply mistaken, with a simple
misinterpretation
of the eternal language
long lost to our illiterate souls

in flesh, fear of losing has left me
left me bare as i could ever be
and i'm letting the sun bear down upon me
a body need not look for a shield
as long as we are all here as lovers
swollen hearts should have little to fear

hearts & sleep

can't sleep for shit
when you miss somebody
don't need the sleep
now anyhow

it's nice to feel your heart beat
again

it's been a while